Building Our Village...

I've been suffering through a strange allergic reaction since late Friday night. The usual (for me): hives, random swelling in my hands, feet and lips, joint stiffness and pain and a general feeling of itchiness. I've averaged about 1 or 2 of these episodes a year, starting with the Great Allergic Reaction of 1995, during my Sophomore year of college, where it took two weeks and two rounds of Prednisone to finally knock it out of my system. I went on Spring Break that year with hives. It was pretty.

I've never been able to pin down exactly what triggers these reactions, however I do know:
1) They are always worse when I'm experiencing some other kind of physical stress;
2) They ALWAYS begin with an intense itchiness and the sensation of heat behind both of my ears;
3) They may be hormonally related, although I'm not completely convinced of this.
4) They take anywhere from three to seven days to fully run their course, which can be really unpleasant if you like to do CRAZY things like go out in public without scaring small children and pets and sleep through the night without scratching.

Usually, I take Benadryl, but limit it to the nighttime hours when I'm on Mom Duty. This time, Benadryl wasn't helping, and I had the unique and really cool feeling last night of my throat swelling while I was feeding the children dinner and getting the baby ready for bed. So after a conversation with myself about hypochondriasis and possible overreacting, I called my babysitter.

Can I say what a tremendous difference it has made to my life (and I would say, probably Skip's as well) since we developed a relationship with a local sitter whom we trust? Not that our parents wouldn't drop everything to come and help one or both of us (and they have, on a number of occasions) if and when we need it. And we are always grateful for their love, help and support and we know that it comes from their love of us and not out of duty and that we're not a burden. But it's never easy for them to drop everything to come here, especially in the middle of the night, given that they are spread out over different states (sometimes two, sometimes three, depending upon who is at whose vacation home) and they tend to move around A LOT (crazy people who want to have lives). The closest when she's close is nearly two hours away; the furthest when they're furthest require a plane ride. Some of them still work. All of them have their own stuff to do, friends, routines, etc. So logistics are always tricky.

Last year we started routinely booking a local babysitter for date nights...not every week, but at least once every few weeks when I realized that the only things I discussed with my husband were Alex's poop, Alex's potty training and his travel schedule (not necessarily in that order). We slowly developed a strong friendship with her, and her newlywed husband. Alex was and now both of our children are always completely thrilled when they are coming to stay for a while. We've reached that wonderful place with them where we can go out for an evening without spending an extra hour showing them around and explaining the kids' schedules and nuances. They know us, they know our children, they know our house, and they seem to like it here.

When I phoned my sitter last night, I was momentarily worried about being an inconvenience. After all, I was asking for help, something that I have difficulty doing even when I'm paying for that help. It's one of the things that kept me from hiring sitters for so long into Alex's life. It's what keeps me from accepting offers of food from wonderfully-intentioned family members who are coming for parties. It's what kept me from asking for help for almost a year after Alex was born when I knew that something was not right with me; instead I just stopped sleeping completely for a few months. Boy was that fun.

But I've grown. I've changed. I've mellowed. And I've learned that I can't do this alone.

So I called...and she came right over. And then she thanked me for calling her, after rushing out of her home having just returned from her day job, after having cereal for dinner here, after taking beautiful care of our children, reading to Alex at bedtime, comforting him when he was sad that I wasn't home to say goodnight, ensuring he knew that he and his sister were safe and loved. After staying here well into the night while I visited our local ER and waited and waited and waited for treatment. And after all of that, while she was leaving, she told me to call at anytime should anything else happen during the night.

She's a pretty important person. I hope she reads here and knows what a tremendous difference she has made in our lives. She's made this little village just a little broader, and we're all the better for it.

p.s. And I'm getting better. Steroids are good, for short periods of time.